Más de Groucho Marx

En estos dias en que no me calienta ni el sol, leer las citas de Groucho Marx son una bocanada de aire fresco a mi estado de ánimo:



A man's only as old as the woman he feels

Quote me as saying I was misquoted.

Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

Time wounds all heels.

Room Service? Send up a larger room.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Women should be obscene and not heard.


From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

I sent the club a wire stating, "please accept my resignation. I don´t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member".

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

If i cannot smoke in heaven, then i shall not go.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet!

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!

There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.

Well, Art is Art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

How do you feel about women's rights ? I like either side of them.

I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said "I was just whispering in her mouth".